It has been a long time since I really gave you an update on how things are going so I thought I would do one!
It has been a roller-coaster recently; I’ve been all over the place. So, I have had some days where I’ve been in really good moods for the entirety of the day and they have been relatively easy. I’ve had great friends around me who have been very helpful and supportive about the whole matter which I am intensely grateful for.
However, much more prominently, my anxiety has got very bad again. I was doing so well and suddenly it all hit me and became very difficult to cope with. I have had much more frequent and intense panic attacks than ever before which, as you can imagine, has really taken its toll on me. It makes me not want to bother to do anything as I think I will just have a panic attack and ruin everything for myself. Also, it is physically exhausting making it difficult for me to be able to do all the work that I am required to do at the moment.
I am also very stressed! I have 23 GCSE exams coming up soon (42 days!). I know that to many people this isn’t worth stressing over but for me it is. Literally the only things I am good at are academic so this is quite important for me to go well! I do really struggle with exams as I don’t perform well under pressure as I really let it get to me. I feel quite a lot of expectation that I have to live up to especially as people think I’m coping with it all very well.
As you may know, I have also struggled with self harming in the past which I seem to have reverted back to doing again. I am trying to break this cycle but it’s difficult. I was thinking about doing a blog post about my experience of it so please let me know your thoughts on that.
I am trying to help myself but it is difficult and there are many unavoidable things that I feel have contributed towards my recent deterioration. I am going to try and make the next few months as easy as possible for myself. However, this may involve less dedication to my blog as school work and mental state take priority.
Thank you everyone for your continuing support J
Phoebe x
It has been a roller-coaster recently; I’ve been all over the place. So, I have had some days where I’ve been in really good moods for the entirety of the day and they have been relatively easy. I’ve had great friends around me who have been very helpful and supportive about the whole matter which I am intensely grateful for.
However, much more prominently, my anxiety has got very bad again. I was doing so well and suddenly it all hit me and became very difficult to cope with. I have had much more frequent and intense panic attacks than ever before which, as you can imagine, has really taken its toll on me. It makes me not want to bother to do anything as I think I will just have a panic attack and ruin everything for myself. Also, it is physically exhausting making it difficult for me to be able to do all the work that I am required to do at the moment.
I am also very stressed! I have 23 GCSE exams coming up soon (42 days!). I know that to many people this isn’t worth stressing over but for me it is. Literally the only things I am good at are academic so this is quite important for me to go well! I do really struggle with exams as I don’t perform well under pressure as I really let it get to me. I feel quite a lot of expectation that I have to live up to especially as people think I’m coping with it all very well.
As you may know, I have also struggled with self harming in the past which I seem to have reverted back to doing again. I am trying to break this cycle but it’s difficult. I was thinking about doing a blog post about my experience of it so please let me know your thoughts on that.
I am trying to help myself but it is difficult and there are many unavoidable things that I feel have contributed towards my recent deterioration. I am going to try and make the next few months as easy as possible for myself. However, this may involve less dedication to my blog as school work and mental state take priority.
Thank you everyone for your continuing support J
Phoebe x